Pokémon Emerald Version Playthrough, Part 1: It's Dangerous Walking Out Your Front Door - Heady Murphy's Welcome to Hoenn

Aww yeah. Let's do this!

I. Welcome Home!
Littleroot Town, Hoenn. My new journey begins here. My mom schlepped me in the back of the moving truck like the rest of our furniture.

Thanks, ya old hag!

Pretty sure I should call child services on her, but I digress. I step out of the truck to my new home, and it sure is boring. Yup - room with a Nintendo GameCube, a clock,  and a computer. Seen it all before. When I return downstairs, my mother calls me over to the TV saying my Dad is on. I quickly rush over but it’s too late, and the broadcast ends. My ever-consoling mother tells me about what I missed and quickly shoves me out of the house to go visit the neighbors, who I don’t even know. She’s such a wonderful mother; pushing me into awkward social interactions. She tells me that Professor Birch lives next door and is a good friend of my father. I can’t help but wonder why all of the professors in the Pokémon games are named after trees. I trek next door to meet him.

II. Professors and Pokémon
When I open the door of Professor Birch’s home, I get stopped by who I think is the professor's wife. After some inquisition she tells me that the professor is not home, but that her daughter, May, is, and would like to meet me. Wow. I guess I’m more popular than I thought, but getting invited upstairs already might be pushing it a bit fast. So, I go introduce myself and she’s just so chippy it’s annoying.

“Oh I just met you but let’s be friends, hehehe.”

Girl, one day I’m going to wipe that smile from your face.

Anyway, she scurries away to get her stuff ready and I depart, still looking for the professor.

I check the professor’s lab only to find his rude assistant telling me Birch is out doing “field work.” Ignoring everything else he had to say, I leave and head to the field north of town. And, sure enough, there's the professor, being chased by a big... rabid...

...Zigzagoon?

Really Birch, you can’t handle a small little Zigzagoon? How did you manage to become a Pokémon professor? I try to leave this ridiculousness behind, but the professor calls out for aid as I do. Sighing, I decided it would be best to save him. He tells me that there are some Pokémon in the bag he dropped, literally two feet away from him at that.

I am then presented with a choice of who to choose as my starter. I see a Mudkip, a Torchic, and a Treecko. The decision is tough, but ultimately I feel I made the perfect choice. The battle with the Zigzagoon begins. Torchic, I choose you! Not really in that manner, but you get the idea. The battle is quick and my chick quickly faints the Zigzagoon.

We return to the lab, and the ever-grateful professor decides to let me keep my Pokémon, and lets me nickname it! What could be more perfect for a fire chicken? Sanders will do, I think. Yes, a name greatly associated with chicken. With that I am quickly shown the door again and told to go find his daughter May. One hop, skip, and a jump later I meet May in the field just above Oldale Town, north of Littleroot. She declares herself as my friendly new rival, and we battle. Sanders, my Torchic, against her Water-type Mudkip.

Get ready for some Kentucky Fried DOOM!

The battle is great and epic with EXPLOSIONS! Nah, I’m just messing with you. Just a ton of Scratching and Tackling. If Sanders were a lesser Torchic, we might have been in trouble...

...but the battle ends and we are victorious!

III. The Road to Petalburg

Back at the lab I am finally given what I’ve been craving this entire time: Pokéballs and my Pokédex. May tells me that she’ll see me around, but the professor just wants me to do the work he’s too lazy to do himself. So, I depart on my grand adventure in Hoenn.

My next destination: Petalburg City, to face the gym leader and whatever challenges await me. Along the way, I encounter two new Pokémon allies. First, a Wurmple, which I regrettably wasted two Pokéballs on trying to catch it right off the bat. What nickname do I give him? Armada seems fitting. He seems content to join my party, and we venture forth. A few moments later I encounter another small Pokémon. This time it’s a Poochyena, a Dark type. This battle required a little bit of effort, but Sanders pulled through and we managed to capture the evasive Pokémon. Feeling lazy, I just named this one Ed.

I shall call him Ed.

I can see the edge of Petalburg City and I am grateful to be almost there, but I am quickly ambushed by some little punk thinking he’s tough crap.

Look out, folks. Team Shorts is on the rise.

We battle and I beat up his Pokémon. Sorry kid, but I’m taking your lunch money too. I arrive in Petalburg and b-line for the Pokémon center. Soon I will make my move for the gym and earn myself my first Hoenn badge. Stay tuned for more of my misadventures!

My current party. Champion material, right here.

- Heady Murphy